I'm shattered. The humans took me for my first stay at puppy daycare and I've not slept a wink.
I was dropped off at 8am and handed to a nice stranger who led me to a large barn with crates and beds and tents and sofas. Then lots of different breeds of dogs arrived and started to mill about and play with one another. They all seemed to know each other and I didn't know any of them. I was in the room for small dogs and puppies. Outside, there was a play area for us with another one next door for the bigger dogs.
Wary, I found a quiet section beside a wall to watch everyone.
Some of the dogs liked to wrestle, trying to pin each other to the ground. This made me nervous, what with all the teeth-gnashing and girning noises. When they came near me, I moved away sharpish to find another safe location. I'm a hugger, not a fighter. I don't want anything spoiling my good looks. I was surprised the staff tolerated such impolite behaviour. Instead, they videoed it on their phones to post on Instagram.
I reckoned the dogs were playing up for the camera. They probably thought they were social media sensations with their centre-of-attention, look-at-me behaviour. I mean, do looks count for nothing? By rights, I should be the star. How many of them have a blog?
When the staff came out to play with us, all the dogs got excited. One of the staff lay on the floor and all the dogs jumped on them, trying to lick their clothes and face. No one made room for me. I stood at the back and waited patiently for a gap but they hogged all the space. Eventually, I sloped back to the wall and crashed down onto the floor, dejected. There was no fun for me here.
Then I heard my name being called and saw another girl waiting for me with open arms. I rushed over before anyone else and jumped up on two legs and got my tummy rubbed. It was the highlight of my morning.
Having been on high alert all morning, my eyes felt droopy after lunch. Because I'd finished first, I went back to the barn and had my pick of the beds. I chose the one that looked like a green tent because it provided shelter from prying eyes.
But not for long.
A pug approached. "Hello," said he in a way he thought was sexy. He snuffled his flat nose against my paws like he was kissing my feet. "What lovely soft pads you have." Then he pushed his way into the tent. "Room for one more inside?"
I stood up but he was already pressing against me, looking to smell my rear, so I sat down. I didn't know what to say. There were no humans around to save me.
He was breathing heavily with his tongue flapping from his mouth. "I'm Puggly Wuggly. I think I'll call you Spongepaw Squigglepants."
Couldn't he read my name tag? It clearly stated my name was Millie. He was making me feel uncomfortable. I squirmed as he made to sniff my lady bits but I managed to twist into a bun to prevent him access. Instead, he sniffed my neck.
"What's that delightful aroma you're wearing?" he asked.
"TCP," I replied. The smell had lingered from the tick removal incident. When he suggested he was going to introduce me to his little friend, I pressed myself right up against the back of the tent. There wasn't room enough for two of us, never mind three.
Suddenly, a golden Cockapoo grabbed him by his curly tail and yanked him backwards out of the tent.
"Mr Pugglesworth, I've warned you before: no grooming the puppies."
He scarpered with a giggle. "See you later, Squigglepants." He mingled with the other dogs, despite their best efforts to avoid him.
The Cockapoo asked if I was alright. I admitted I had been a little frightened. She introduced herself as "Winnie" and told me to keep away from that one. She lay down beside me and her coat was lovely and warm and soft.
After a while, I said to her, "He couldn't have been grooming me. He didn't have a comb."
She smirked.
Neither of us slept. We both kept an eye out in case the pug returned. She stayed with me all afternoon until my owner returned to collect me.
I slept all the way home in the car.
