March 2022

This month, The Woman had a birthday. I got to help with the unwrapping, which annoyed The Man as he was trying to wrap her presents at the time. Eventually, he bought me off with a massive cardboard tube, which I enjoyed ripping to pieces. I wasn't happy when he reclaimed the remains.

The Man and I then had a falling out.  

It was his fault obviously. I lost all respect for him when he took me to the vet for a kennel cough booster and discovered he was four months early. I wasn't amused when the vet still insisted on checking me over so I refused to enter the examination room until she'd scattered dog treats across the entrance for me to hoover up on the way in. She should have given me more as it turned out I'd lost weight since my last visit, dipping below 10 kg. She told the Man to increase my feed quantity which was a win for me.

Then, at the cabin, The Man gave me a fright. He'd swapped my usual lead for an extending one. As I pulled ahead, the cord stretching fully, the handle yanked from his grip and chased me. I scarpered but the black plastic block kept following, making a racket as it clattered over the gravel road, zipping ever closer. Eventually, after much frantic sprinting, I managed to save myself by snagging it around a neighbour's plant pot. This was not the kind of wake up alarm I appreciate at the start of a Sunday morning walk. 

He wasn't amused when I discovered a taste for a new, natural snack that was freely available on the Braes, particularly in the long grass. I gorged on so many of these filling, canine-in-origin, sausage-like sticks, I projectile vomited on the living room floor when I got home. The Man had to open the windows and shampoo the carpet afterwards. I learned a valuable lesson: be more selective as not all the sticks are fresh. With no expiry dates, I need to trust my nose for subsequent visits to the field buffet.

All these sausages have left me thirsty

I've been asserting my independence this month. He calls it pushing my luck. 

The first occasion was after an evening walk to the little park within the estate. The Man had foolishly let me off the lead and I had found a stick I wanted to take home. We disagreed, resulting in me disregarding his commands to stay and returning home without him, crossing the road on my own. I thought I was being a clever girl and even dropped the stick for him when he caught up with me, out of breath, at the garden gate. He got a rollicking from the Woman for being so reckless. 

I went one better in the Man-fright stakes when I exited the car park off the Glennifer Road near the Neilston substation. He was unhappy about me eating more dog sausages and had returned to the car, sitting in my space, legs dangling out of the boot waiting for me to slope back with my tail between my legs. But I wasn't sorry and he seemed angry so I made a beeline for the exit. He told the Woman the sight of me running along the verge then crossing the road as traffic whizzed by at sixty miles per hour will forever be seared into his retinas. I let him recover me from the field on the other side.

He won't be trusted to let me off the lead for a while.    

Yum!

Playfighting for my life

Queen of the Playground Castle

I don't care what they're doing, just tickle me

Getting cuddles from Michelle

Sniff my finger!

Where's my lunch?

I used to be able to slip through these bars

Actually, I'd prefer a shower to a bath

Tooth marks on the plant pot? Me? Where's your proof?

It could have been Bambi...

Or Queen Bee

I might have a twin.